These Do-Overs Were DOA
Are you skeptical when hearing about Hollywood's newest remake of a classic movie? You have good reason. Sure, sometimes it works (see 'The Italian Job'), but too often movie remakes can spell disaster (ahem, 'Poseidon'). We count down the 25 worst offenders of all time.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
25. 'The Invasion' (2007)
With Oscar-worthy A-listers Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig and a can't-miss premise, this third retooling of 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' looked like it could indeed take Earth by storm. But miss it did, proving ridiculous, overwrought, and worst of all, boring.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
24. 'Alfie' (2004)
Despite having Jude Law in the title role, original music by Mick Jagger and an extended topless scene featuring Sienna Miller, this is but a hollow, cynical shell of the charming 1966 original, which starred Michael Caine and earned five Oscar nominations. If only they gave Oscars for Best Topless Scene.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
23. 'The Ladykillers' (2004)
Coming off their first miss ('Intolerable Cruelty') after nine straight hits, the Coen brothers looked like they would rebound nicely when they enlisted Tom Hanks to play an eccentric schemer in a remake of the 1955 crime comedy. But Hanks is obnoxious and over the top, and so is the movie.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
22. 'The Truth About Charlie' (2002)
Thandie Newton (as a widow), Mark Wahlberg (as a dashing stranger) and Jonathan Demme (as a once-hot director) couldn't hope to better the 1963 Hepburn-Grant thriller 'Charade,' but this yawner wasn't even close. Maybe, fooled by the lame title, they all thought they were in a Lifetime movie instead.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
21. 'Poseidon' (2006)
Even Wolfgang Petersen, the man behind aquatic epics 'Das Boot' and 'The Perfect Storm,' couldn't keep this oceanic epic afloat. A remake of 1972's 'Poseidon Adventure,' it has A-list special effects, a B-list cast (Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell) and enough D-list cheesiness to sink 10 cruise ships.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
20. 'Planet of the Apes' (2001)
Tim Burton seemed the perfect man to remake the 1968 sci-fi camp classic about a world where apes enslave men. But his rehash takes itself way too seriously and ditches the iconic original ending. (No Statue of Liberty shot?! Really?) As a result, it's the cinematic equivalent of monkey feces.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
19. 'The Pink Panther' (2006)
Oh, Steve Martin, we've never been so disappointed in you. Not only do you star in this unfunny mess based on Peter Sellers' 1963 caper classic, but you're credited with co-writing. And by the way, you were robbed ... of that Razzie for Worst Remake or Rip-Off you were up for. Curse you, 'Little Man.'
These Do-Overs Were DOA
18. 'City of Angels' (1998)
Wim Wenders' 1987 'Wings of Desire' was about angels who observe and love humans. For "angels" substitute "Nicolas Cage as a creepy dead guy in a trenchcoat," for "observe ..." substitute "stalks Meg Ryan," and you've got this travesty of the transcendent original. Sometimes the dead should just stay dead.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
17. 'Down to Earth' (2001)
Reconfiguring 'Heaven Can Wait' with Chris Rock assuming Warren Beatty's role, this time as an underground comic given another shot at life as a white wealthy stiff? Sounded like fish-out-of-water comedy gold. Instead it was as lifeless and stinky as, well, a fish out of water.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
16. 'House of Wax' (2006)
Paris Hilton's death scene -- in which the cleavage-sporting heiress is dispatched gruesomely (and hilariously) by a deranged redneck intent on filling a wax museum with corpses -- almost makes up for the horrendous plot, poor acting and lack of chills in this remake of the 1953 film of the same name ... almost.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
15. 'The Stepford Wives' (2004)
We're not really sure what happened here: The '75 original was a neat little thriller; this star-studded remake came out some hodgepodge of comedy, satire and horror. Note to Nicole Kidman: Back away from the remakes ('Bewitched' might have made our list, too, if it were a movie redo).
These Do-Overs Were DOA
14. 'The Ring Two' (2005)
Whereas the first 'Ring' film pulled off an unbelievable feat and actually bested the J-horror film 'Ringu' upon which it was based (even more impressive considering it's about a VHS tape that kills you), its follow-up (based on 'Ringu 2') was about as scary (and funny) as an episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond.'
These Do-Overs Were DOA
13. 'All the King's Men' (2006)
We're not at all surprised that Sean Penn would have the cojones to take on an Oscar-winning role (Broderick Crawford won Best Actor for the '49 original); what shocked us was how completely and utterly this chockful-of-acting-heavyweights version failed to impress us.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
12. 'The Hitcher' (2006)
The 1986 original is a cult classic, just pure suspense from beginning to end. Rutger Hauer is terrifying as a psychopath chasing a couple who're in the wrong place at the wrong time. When something is this good, why chance a remake? You'll just end up on a list like this.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
11. '101 Dalmatians'
There's one great thing about this live-action version of the beloved 1961 animated original, and that's Glenn Close, brilliantly cast as the snarling Cruella De Vil. But that leaves 100 reasons NOT to see this unfunny, uninspired, un-cute remake. Who let these dogs out? Do us a favor ... put 'em back in.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
10. 'Godzilla' (1998)
Hmm ... Matthew Broderick stars in two of our worst remake designees. And this one is a remake of a remake (the '54 version with Raymond Burr is a redo of the original all-Japanese-cast monster mash). This big, American version just takes itself too seriously.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
9. 'The Island of Dr. Moreau' (1996)
He had two Oscars, but Marlon Brando was surely prouder of the Worst Supporting Actor Razzie he won (at age 72) for donning sunglasses, white makeup and red lipstick to play genetic-mutant maestro Dr. Moreau. It was the third version of H.G. Wells' novel, the strangest and the worst. The horror! The horror!
These Do-Overs Were DOA
8. 'The Out-of-Towners' (1999)
When you have a Neil Simon script, as the 1970 Jack Lemmon-starring original did, why mess with that? Shame on you, Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. You're both old enough to have seen the original ... in the theater. You must've known this update was unnecessary.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
7. 'Get Carter' (2000)
The 1971 original is one of the best gangster flicks ever made, thanks to its quotable dialogue, soulless antihero (Michael Caine) and unapologetic violence. The remake, which stars Sylvester Stallone and features a completely new (and decidedly unimproved) ending, is a humorless bore by comparison.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
6. 'When a Stranger Calls' (2006)
"The call ... It's coming from inside the house!" That line from the '79 original is scarier than anything in this remake, which scored a whopping 10 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and features young, pretty people looking vacant. Forget the murderer -- this film commits the far greater crime of boring us to death.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
5. 'Swept Away' (2002)
This unnatural disaster -- based on the 1974 Italian film 'Swept Away ... by an Unusual Destiny in the Blue Sea of August' -- won five Razzies (including Worst Picture and Worst Remake), went straight to DVD in the U.K., and made Madonna swear she'd never act again. Saaay, maybe something good DID come of it, after all.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
4. 'The Wicker Man' (2006)
The original 1974 'Wicker Man' is considered one of the best, scariest British films ever. The Nicolas Cage update, however, is so un-scary that it's quite literally hilarious: Its numerous scenes of Cage beating up (and being beaten up by) women make it one of the most underrated unintentional comedies of our time.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
3. 'The Fog' (2005)
John Carpenter's 1980 version paid homage to horror film classics just in its roster of stars (Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, Adrienne Barbeau); the 2005 remake paid homage to teenybopper TV with its cast (Tom Welling, Maggie Grace). You do the math.
These Do-Overs Were DOA
2. Rollerball (2002)
We could go on forever about how this flick about a life-threatening roller-sport is utterly ridiculous and lacks the social and political commentary of the dystopian 1975 sci-fi thriller upon which it's based. Instead, we'll just quote star L.L. Cool J, who simply told Conan O'Brien that it "sucked."
These Do-Overs Were DOA
1. 'Psycho' (1998)
Why, Gus? Why? We don't know what lunacy prompted Gus Van Sant to attempt to re-create Hitchcock's 1960 masterpiece by mimicking every shot, yet leaving out the suspense and excitement (not to mention miscasting genial Vince Vaughn as the deranged Bates). File this bit of suckage under "P" ... for pointless.

Reader Comments (139)
gubers33 at 6:09PM on Jun 12th 2008
City of Angels should not be on this list especially as high on the list as it is considering the movie did good in the box office and is very well liked, especially since it is liked more than the original. The rest are pretty good choices however.
Jerrica Black at 7:36PM on Jun 12th 2008
who ever made this is a frikin jerk! some of these movies are really good.. eventhough some are in their rightfull place in this list.. most don't deserve the harsh criticism or ridicule... lighten up will ya?
volleyari613 at 7:53PM on Jun 12th 2008
I personally thought The Invasion was excellent, it does not have to be up on the list. It was not boring what so ever.
Mike at 8:15PM on Jun 12th 2008
Silly list, based purely on Box Office revenue, popularity and the need to fill 25 slots for lazy writers.
Lets not forget...
Black Christmas (2007) - The WORST remake I've ever seen...
Prom Night (2008)
April Foor's Day (2008)
Are We Done Yet? (remake of "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House")
and more...
I could go on and on...
But this list is ridiculous. The original "Poseidon" came within the wave of Irwin Allen disaster films and was OK at the time...the new one came at the wave of CGI created features - and was OK as well. City of Angels didn't collect laughable exit notes...and the original Out of Towners was Neil Simon's weak spot to begin with (Sandy Dennis cannot act). Mediocre remakes of mediocre films do not create a "worst of" list.
Donald at 8:24PM on Jun 12th 2008
Well, they're going to remake Rosemary's Baby. And they want to remake the first Nightmare On Elm Street. And Child's Play. I'm not making this up. I can't even say any more because it just makes me sick.
cvalin at 8:31PM on Jun 12th 2008
Well, it looks like filmmakers can draw at least two conclusions from this list:
(1) Don't cast Nicole Kidman, Steve Martin, or Nicolas Cage in a remake
(2) Don't try to remake a good movie starring Michael Caine
Linda Giffen at 8:37PM on Jun 12th 2008
oes Michael Jackson know you used his picture?
Lee at 8:47PM on Jun 12th 2008
Hummm lets see,,,Planet of the Apes,,,, WOW staring Michael Jackson think of all the money the sudio can save on makeup
DScott750 at 10:42PM on Jun 12th 2008
Special Fx were great, and the added back story made it somewhat better. But the fear tracking was WAAAYYY off.
docamous at 8:54PM on Jun 12th 2008
I rather enjoyed "The Ladykillers" and "Godzilla", but "Poseidon" definitely belongs on the list. Though the CGI was spectacular, it lacked the one thing that made the original "The Poseidon Adventure" a classic: character development. As a result, no one in the audience cared whether those people lived or died. ( It should also be noted that the made-for-TV version was even worse.)
One movie left off the list was "The Manchurian Candidate". The original psychological thriller is a true classic.
ScorpioEddie84 at 8:55PM on Jun 12th 2008
I'm surprised I didn't see the "Dawn of the Dead" remake on here. It was horrible. First off, the mall the people were stranded in was fake...all the stores were ficticious. The mall itself was UGLY...remember, the mall was what made the original Dawn so sensational. Next, the zombies. They moved much faster in the remake, not allowing you to really feel that sense of "zombiness" like in the original. The zombies just weren't as realistic and frankly as spooky as the originals. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents. Also, I wasn't crazy about the remake of "guess who"...it seemed too racial (even for Bernie Mac) for me to find much humor. But in fairness I didn't see the original so I can't say anything more.
JMSyncCorp at 8:55PM on Jun 12th 2008
Hummm lets see,,,Planet of the Apes,,,, WOW staring Michael Jackson think of all the money the sudio can save on makeup....Right, and with the Election coming, what a Remake that would be !!
jake at 9:16PM on Jun 12th 2008
Lists like these are so negative -- some of these movies were huge hits, so he can hardly say they were terrible remakes. Psycho is not number one -- it's a shot for shot remake -- so putting that down is putting down the original. Why does everything have to be the worst this or that -- why can't it be the best?
dave at 9:12PM on Jun 12th 2008
isn't that michael jackson and liz taylors kid ????
F0rmerme at 9:45AM on Jun 13th 2008
They forgot "I am Legend". Should have had the number one spot.
James at 9:19PM on Jun 12th 2008
Most of these remakes are good such as, "The Hitcher." "When a Stranger Calls." and, "House of Wax."
mike K at 9:23AM on Jun 15th 2008
yeah right, i'll give you some of these were comparatively bad, but i think the maker of the list needs to see a whole lot more remakes! i've seen much worse then this. How is "she's the man", remake of "just one of the guys" not up here? How about Roger Ebert ranks the worst remakes of all time?
genehall7033 at 11:26PM on Jun 12th 2008
I didn't think Invasion was all that bad, but the low-budget Inasion of TheBody Snatchers that came out a few ears before was truly dreadful.
Carrie?
Lost In Space?
How about the War of The Worlds remake with C. Thomas Howell?
Let's not forget all the Christmas Carol remakes- they go from great (Patrick Stewart) to
Tori Spelling!
xcodysaysx at 6:55AM on Jun 13th 2008
I agree with a lot of these. However, Planet of the Apes... I LOVED Tim Burton's reinvention of the classic. Maybe I'm just an adoring fan.
However, to bash the end? Ummm...His remake was faithful to the book's ending whereas the original was not. Obviously, the author of this article has not researched the topic at hand...
--CODY
bertaET at 9:53PM on Jun 12th 2008
The Thing. I just saw it. Kurt Russell. What a waste of talent. I liked the original. I think that H-wood is making movies too real. I like some "hokey" with my sci-fi.