Apparently, John Rambo prefers saving damsels in distress than fighting freakish man-beast hybrids.Sylvester Stallone recently sent an e-mail to Sly fansite StalloneZone.com announcing a change of direction for the upcoming 'Rambo V.' The original film was set to be modeled off 'Hunter,' the book by James Byron Huggins about a medical experiment that creates a ultra-violent half-man/half-animal that needs to be taken out. While Huggins' book will still play a role in the movie, Stallone is focusing on a good ol' fashioned border war. Never one to use two words when one will do, Stallone tersely wrote,
"To all the loyal SZoners out there,
I'm letting you know that Rambo has changed course and the story about hunting the man/beast will be done using another character in the lead. RAMBO himself will be heading over the border to a violent city where many young women have vanished.
There will be blood.
Best,
Sly Stallone"
You had us at "There will be blood."
So we're assuming that the film will take place in Mexico (unless he means Canada, though roughing up some Mounties seems a bit tame for the Vietnam vet.) But Sly is a shrewd one, not actually disclosing the location by name. So we decided to pick the border battles we'd most like to see cinema's ultimate badass enter:
• Israel/Palestine: 'Rambo V' opens on an alternate universe where Stallone, taking the place of Bill Clinton, brokers the 1993 handshake between PLO Chairman Yassir Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin. Cut to '15 Years Later' and, with peace negotiations breaking down, Stallone must rescue a group of Israeli and Palestinian children from an evil warlord intent on destroying both sides.
• France/Spain: Trapped deep in The Pyrenees, John Rambo has, for some reason or another, been living in a cave, subsiding on snow and bugs and whiling his days training. Just training. When a vicious mountain border war breaks out, it's up to Rambo to survive both the harsh weather conditions and angry Spaniards and Frenchmen.
• Pakistan/Afghanistan: In their attempt to keep their protagonist in the scope of current events, the filmmakers send Rambo to battle the Taliban. Lines like "You American pig" and "Your country thinks it's so great. We will crush you." will be uttered by vaguely Muslim-looking actors.
• Ecuador/Columbia: After running out of, or disagreeing with, all previous ideas, producers just say "Screw it, let's do another action movie where the main character battles drug warlords and their goons."
• Russia/Latvia: This scenario works if budget problems arise on set, thus forcing the movie to be 90% comprised of training scene outtakes from 'Rocky IV.'
"Shooting" is expected to begin this spring.
Reader Comments (14)
jbsasktheape at 8:21AM on Nov 15th 2009
Did he reveal what brand of wheelchair and walker he will be using?
This is a joke him trying to play this role at his age.
Zed at 8:54AM on Nov 15th 2009
Normally he would have named the brand of walker he'd use. But he can't remember.
Rick at 9:11AM on Nov 15th 2009
I don't know about this one, I think 'ol Sly ought to leave Rambo alone. The last one I thought was gonna be a sleeper but to my suprize it was outstanding if your into the realizm of how bullets cause the human body to sling blood all over the place and the way they made the enemy burst with the hit off that 50cal. rifle from school boy. That was second best Rambo movie ever made. And I liked how he left him coming home. I think Rambo deserves a long vacation, let him live the rest of his life in peace and not subject him to the likes of "sci-fi" with a half human half beast.....that just sounds lame from the get go!!!
John F.C. Taylor at 9:28AM on Nov 15th 2009
The thing I want to know is - will someone else be brought in to play Crenna's character for this Rambo movie or will the character be left out of the script entirely?
Peppa at 9:34AM on Nov 15th 2009
LOOKS AS THOUGH HIS WIFE'S FACE CREAM PRODUCTS ARE NOT WORKING FOR HIM ....EWEeeeeeee
dan at 10:15AM on Nov 15th 2009
Is rambo a draft dodger?
mshariann1 at 12:10PM on Nov 15th 2009
MR STALLONE YOU ARE THE BEST. I HAVE WATCH EVERY RAMBO.PLUS EVERY ROCKY YOU HAVE MADE.PLEASE KEEP ON MAKEING THEM.
loufalce at 12:31PM on Nov 15th 2009
You`re kidding, right?
KC at 12:54PM on Nov 15th 2009
Come on Stallone-enough with the Rambo he's wore out damn, can't you come up with something original? I won't be wasting any money or time on this crap.
Steven at 1:03PM on Nov 15th 2009
We want a new ROCKY movie. Lets go, start the petition.
Tom Pate at 1:05PM on Nov 15th 2009
This time around we get to witness Rambo's toughness as he splints his own broken hip after a round with the main villian.
Shirley Amer at 1:43PM on Nov 15th 2009
Sly you are the best movie actor that there is. I loved all your movies. Hope you make another Rocky movie. Keep on making movies. I just watched Fist last nite on TV and it was a great movie. Good Luck and keep on making movies. You look great in a suit or in boxing trunks. Yum Yum.
strange at 1:46PM on Nov 15th 2009
...why not metion the worlds most fortified border...no brainer, Korea. Instead they mention border that have no conflict at all...
mm12345655 at 2:23PM on Nov 15th 2009
Rambo,shouldn't he be getting his government provided health care from the VA & Medicare along with his Social Security. Next thing you know the Scooter Store will be providing him with transportation.